FLASH
Shkruar nga Pamfleti
The former adult film actress, now a resident of Big Brother Kosovo, Alby, yesterday evening told the story of her life from the divorce of her parents to the birth of her daughter.
She has stated that she has often been alone in her life, and even when she gave birth to her daughter, she showed that there was no one close to her.
Her communication with her father was very little and she was even very cold from him, but now she misses his presence:
When I was 9 months old, my parents separated. I have two older sisters, my parents had problems, my father drank and was jealous. The older sister has suffered more because she has seen it all. When I was 4 years old, I remember mom and dad fighting over who would hold me when it was court time. I lived with my mother, while my older sister chose my father and fled to Greece. The other sister chose my grandmother and I didn't grow up with either sister. I only met my younger sister when I went to stay with my grandmother, I had a bit of a hard time because I didn't have my father in my life as much as I should, but my mother took care of me very well and never spoke ill of me for her. I loved it very much. When I was with my dad I looked for my mom, when I was with my mom I looked for my dad, even though I knew I couldn't stay with him because he was in Greece. At the age of 13, they decided to send me to America to my aunt. They did the impossible, took a loan to complete the amount of money to escape there. My mother worked two jobs to feed me. It was not easy, I suffered my childhood because my parents were separated.
At first I had a hard time when I left for America, I was a very closed child, I didn't show my feelings. Life there was difficult, I left my mother and school. I distanced myself from everyone, especially my dad because he was the only one I wasn't always close to because I had my mom and I was more used to her. It didn't seem surprising to me anymore that I had distanced myself from my father and when I grew up I didn't want to talk to him anymore, because I said he mistreated my mother and didn't stay close to us as girls. When he met us, he never helped us, I distanced myself and closed the feelings I had for him. I haven't met or talked to him for 20 years, a few years ago he had a heart disease and had an operation, I didn't feel it at all because if something happened to him, I closed my feelings and didn't care. When I gave birth to my daughter, I realized that we have to forgive people, that I didn't give them a chance to speak. Maybe the story of my career and I didn't know how to deal with it. He asked to talk to me but I refused. My daughter doesn't have her own dad in her life and it breaks my heart to know how hard it is to grow up without a dad. But I am very strong anyway and that strength has kept me standing and alive. I don't know if I am raising my daughter well, because even when I gave birth to her I was alone. After three days when I left the hospital, I had my suitcases and my daughter and I was alone, that's when I realized that loneliness kills. I had a hard time raising my daughter, because I didn't even know how to feed her or dress her. Today she is 5 years old and she is very strong, stronger than stone. She teaches me more than I teach her, now when I do something I think 100 times before because now I live for the girl. I have everything in life. Even day and night don't change as much as I changed after my daughter was born. I thank the girl a lot because I understand that I have lost myself. On the worst days, I get stronger just by looking at her. Now that he is growing up, he has started to understand because he sees other children at school who are with both parents and often asks me about his father. I always tell her that when you grow up I will explain everything because I don't know if I am doing right or wrong if I tell her. I tell him that you have me for everything and I will never leave you, because I remember the absence of my father, even though I didn't talk and I didn't want to talk to him, I feel his absence because now I look for him even more . If my child doesn't have her father in her life, she can have a grandfather as an example, not only she, but I also have my father. The mother suffered a lot and the sisters too," concludes Alby's painful confession.
Lini një Përgjigje