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Meanwhile, Elon Musk just announced that he will be postponing the trip to Mars. He said he can't risk the project while Unit 2 is reorganizing the base structures.
Of all the news of the day, only one shook global markets.
It is about the change of leaders of the Socialist Party in unit no. 2 in Tirana.
After this dramatic development, the stock markets reacted immediately. The price of oil reached the price it had before the start of the war with Iran. Investors breathed a sigh of relief. OPEC is holding an emergency meeting to better understand the situation.
The US National Security Council is said to have interrupted its official dinner. "We are not interested in Ukraine, Iran or Taiwan," a senior official is quoted as saying, on condition of anonymity, "tell us what is happening on 'Elbasanit' Street because we have run out of dollars for the...!"
Meanwhile, Elon Musk just announced that he will be postponing the trip to Mars. He said he can't risk the project while Unit 2 is reorganizing the base structures.
But the biggest blow was taken by cryptocurrencies. Bitcoin fell by 15% in 5 minutes. Crypto traders are anxiously waiting to see if the new mayor will take a collaborative approach with neighborhood patrons or create his own lobby within the SP structures.
The World Bank has meanwhile urgently hired five Albanian translators to decipher the new president's Facebook statuses. Every "like", "share" and "comment" on his posts is being analyzed as a signal for interest rates in the European Union.
From the cold walls of the Kremlin, spokesman Dmitry Peskov appeared at an extraordinary press conference, his face alternately pale and flushed: "Our services are closely analyzing every movement in Unit No. 2. This drastic change in the balance in Student City is a clear provocation to the multipolar order. We cannot sit idly by."
Meanwhile, France has expressed indignation at not being informed in advance of this vital and delicate process for the fate of humanity.
Chancellor Merz stated that "the stability of the Eurozone depends directly on the regularity of the minutes in Unit 2, so Berlin will closely monitor everything as a condition for the smooth functioning of the common market and the approval of the IBAR for Albania."
Mark Rutte, from his NATO headquarters, warned that: "Article 5 is ready; if anyone dares to violate the stability of the new structures in Unit 2, the alliance will react with all its strength, because the security of the Ali Demi neighborhood is today the security of the entire democratic world.
From the window of St. Peter's Square, Pope Leo interrupted the midday prayer for an extraordinary announcement: "Brothers and sisters, today we pray for the troubled souls of Unit No. 2. This change in their dome is a divine sign that shows that nothing in this world is eternal."
Behind the scenes, rumors say that the Conclave of Cardinals fell into total silence. The white smoke that rose from the Vatican chimney was not for a new Pope, but a signal that the Vatican officially recognizes the legitimacy of the coordinators, patronages and new neighborhood structures.
Sources close to the markets say that political uncertainty in Unit No. 2 was a factor that had long been underestimated. Analysts had mistakenly thought that the markets were shaken by the war with Iran.
Now that the head of unit two has been elected, the price of oil has also stabilized.
In a world called the "global village," there has always been a control center. Now this center is neither in Washington nor in Beijing, but in Unit 2. If they sneeze there, they cough in Beijing, they get antibiotics in Washington, and they get oxygen respirators in Moscow.
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