FLASH
Shkruar nga Pamfleti
Of course, it is not only the 'traitors' who want an answer to this question.
Cheated partners also want to know why. Often, they have invested a lot of time and energy into building the best possible version of "us" and now that vision of life is shattered.
Sometimes, they wonder where they went wrong, even though they had nothing to do with their partner's decision to cheat.
Admittedly, sometimes people choose to cheat because they are in a bad relationship and want to leave. Sometimes they feel stuck because of children, finances, social habits or whatever. So they move in secret to satisfy their needs for connection, intimacy and validation from someone other than their spouse. But at the same time, they are in emotionally healthy relationships with people who love them, care for them, and have no desire to hurt them.
Why do people cheat on their partners even though they still love them?
1. Self-exploration
For some, cheating is a way to explore repressed parts of themselves. They just want to escape the constraints of this for a while. They are not looking for another person; they are looking for hidden versions of themselves.
2. Uncertainty
Sometimes some people struggle with self-esteem. They don't feel attractive, powerful, smart, young or whatever. So they seek validation through betrayal. They use that spark of interest to feel wanted.
3. The forbidden apple
Like kids stealing a cookie their mom says they can't have. The forbidden nature of the cookie makes it highly desirable. The same thing is betrayal.
4. Unresolved early life trauma
Sometimes they covertly react to unresolved childhood traumas – neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Basically, their childhood wounds have created attachment deficits that manifest through betrayal.
5. Life not lived
Here, is the life that could have been. One is not unhappy with their current life, but they are curious about what their life could have been like if they had chosen a different path.
6. Unrealistic expectations
Some people cheat because they have unrealistic expectations of what their partner and primary relationship can (and should) provide. They may feel that their partner must meet every need and desire they have, which is an impossible standard.
7. The desire to feel intense emotions
When major relationships settle into the comfort zone of long-term love, cheaters may want to feel the intensity of a newly formed relationship (even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with the current relationship).
8. Selfishness/Inherent Right
Some people, despite loving their partner and enjoying their relationship, feel they deserve more. Instead of seeing their vow of fidelity as a sacrifice made for them and their relationship, they see it as something not enough.
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